Monday, February 12, 2007.
4:57 AM |
oh gosh... i'm like making many things worst from many angles... -.- don't even noe if i'm going the right way... or doing the right things... the more i say the more mistakes i make... sometimes i really think if i should even haf my mouth and my mind/brain, or even should there be an existence of me at all... coz if it weren't for me, all things wouldn't be happening...i'm totally sure that i'm attempting the impossible, yet i wan to make the best of out it.. i never regretted everything i've done. yet knowing nothing will come out of it breaks me down.. people ask me if doing these is worthed the pain anot, i'll juz reply humbly, i dont mind. coz i noe being there and trying my best is all i can do... i do not expect any returns but i juz want u to noe my existence..but i'm no superman.. i cant do so many things at the same time... i dont wan to be deemed a player, or uglier, a flirt... there's juz too many girls out there... too many... but why am i always end up putting her in front of everything. wadeva i do, wadeva i think of, i'll definitely put her infront, even comparing i'll sure find a reason in me for her to win.. to me its like everything is under her, everything, nothing can be compared. yet i still noe, she's juz like a dream... forever unreachable... even knowing the ugly facts might seem really ugly, but i still convince myself that she's an angel.. i'll nv let myself think otherwise...
i dont wan to hurt anyone else out there.. unless i can put down this stone of mine, i can never fall in love wif another girl, again...
i juz dowan people to love me too deeply, when i wun reciprocate.. it'll make me feel like a bastard and all.... damn wad am i talking...
Loves, derrick out.
